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 Post subject: The Dreaded Mikvah
Post Number:#1  PostPosted: 05 Jul 2011 22:34 
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The dreaded Mikvah bath
I worked in the Empire pool in Cardiff as a relief supervisor. Part of the pool amenities was the mikvah bath; The Jewish community installed and paid for it when the pool was built in the 1950’s for the commonwealth games. The mikvah was used as a ritual bath for Jewish women after their monthly cycle and also after someone had been dealing with the dead. It was not allowed to have the water contained in the bath contaminated by any metals and the water was collected off our roof rainwater system. Unfortunately this system didn’t work so the bath was filled with everyday tap water, but we didn’t dare tell them that! The water was then heated by live steam that was supplied by the pools boilers (both boiler men were ex MN seamen and their relief was ex RN seaman). (See Tom it has a nautical theme) The pool was on the ground floor being half sunken into the floor, a set of stone steps lead up to the pool edge and then continued down into the pool bottom, which was about chest deep and looked like a stone walled grave.
It was the responsibility of the ladies in the changing rooms to prepare the bath when we had a booking for it, which was not very often in those days. The ladies would fill the bath with water then go and tell the boiler man that they wanted steam on the bath. They would the turn on the steam valve that was placed on top of the pool surround under a small cover and leave it to warm up the pool water, which would take about an hour or so.
This particular day it didn’t happen that way.
The ladies had forgotten about the bath with the steam still running in it at full blast. I received a phone call from our receptionist and she was in a right Tiswas. She was saying that the building was on fire with smoke billowing out from the false ceiling all across the reception area. She was about to press the fire alarm button and calling 999. I shot down the two flights of stairs to the ground floor and as soon as I saw what was happening, I knew it was the mikvah steam bath and not a fire. The receptionist was still in a great panic and trying to take control of the situation when she had no idea of what was happening. Why do receptionists always have the attitude of being superior and more authorative to everyone else? (Just think of your average doctors receptionist, they all seem to have a BA in Gobble-degook and not answering simple questions)
This one was no different, she was told to do nothing until id checked out the bath. Sure enough when I slightly opened the door I was greeted by a steam cloud, going back to the reception desk I told her it was only steam and to do nothing. Grabbing one of the large Turkish towels I went back to the bath draped the towel over myself and on hands and knees crawled into the room. The steam was only about 6 to 9 inches above the floor feeling my way forward and upwards I eventually found the valve to turn the steam off, the valve was a bit tight and I peeked out from under the towel just to check I was doing it properly and promptly scolded my nose. (Ouch). With the steam turned off it was all-quite and I started to reverse crawl backwards down the stone steps the way id come. My knees reached the floor at the bottom of the steps and my backside hit something hard and round and I become aware of a noise like Darth Vader breathing WTF is that I thought so I pushed harder. Next thing I knew I was grabbed by both ankles and violently being pulled backwards, in doing so I banged my head on both the last two stone steps. (Ouch, Ouch)
Next I was outside the door and unceremoniously rolled over and sat up, the towel was still wrapped around me and as I peered out there was this fireman in full breathing gear looking at me through his steamed up visor with a few of his mates around him. Are you ok, well I was until you pulled me out and I banged my head on the stone steps I replied.
Going back to the reception, there was our gallant receptionist proudly telling all and sundry of how she saved the day by calling the fire brigade and they saving the life of the supervisor. And there I was as living proof complete with a bright red scolded nose and two huge lumps on my forehead. I wont repeat what I said to her but it was not very flattering to say the least.
The next morning I was pulled before the director and asked to explain myself and to why I had abused the receptionist (she had made a complaint) also he’d had a formal verbal complaint from the people that had booked the mikvah bath as the receptionist had related to them of what she thought had happened and that they were now going to have to bless the bath before they could us it again.
I ended up with a bollocking, all for the sake of females that couldn’t do their jobs properly and a receptionist who ran away with her mouth, I suppose trying to show her superiority over us minions.
But I did end up the better off as I went to my doctors and received two weeks paid sick leave and a tube of cream for my nose.



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 Post subject: Re: The Dreaded Mikvah
Post Number:#2  PostPosted: 07 Jul 2011 18:36 
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th_lmao1-vi.gif th_lmao1-vi.gif th_lmao1-vi.gif i can see you now geoff with your nose stuck in a tub of ice cream :lmao: :lmao:



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 Post subject: Re: The Dreaded Mikvah
Post Number:#3  PostPosted: 07 Jul 2011 19:14 
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Hilarious tale there Geoff, have you got any more?
Brian



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 Post subject: Re: The Dreaded Mikvah
Post Number:#4  PostPosted: 09 Jul 2011 07:36 
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lol "the dreaded mikvah", sounds like an infectious disease geoff :lmao:



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 Post subject: Re: The Dreaded Mikvah
Post Number:#5  PostPosted: 09 Jul 2011 09:10 
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What would you like Brian , the turd :baby: patrol, cocky spraying or things down the plug holes??. :baby:



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 Post subject: Re: The Dreaded Mikvah
Post Number:#6  PostPosted: 09 Jul 2011 17:20 
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Anything that is funny Geoff,turd patrols,drains and other noxious things are right up my street,
BrianD



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